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It's the perfect crime - easy, quick, effective and satisfying. See what you want, work out the best way to get your hands on it, then just take it. Shoplifting improves your lifestyle and pokes a finger in the eyes of big business at the same time. In fact, its such a normal part of everyday life for so many people that its difficult to think of it as being a crime at all.
Yet some people, including many left wingers, still say that you can't justify shoplifting: they say its immoral, dishonest, illegal, selfish and greedy. Well, greed and selfishness can be a problem - we must share the goodies around, think of others when we put our hands in our pockets. But as for the rest, it sounds suspiciously like the old trendy-lefty martyr complex - you know, if it makes my life a little more bearable now, then it must be wrong. Here's another way of seeing it:
* Shoplifting is MORE ACCESSIBLE than the world of big business: anyone can do it, and many of the people whom big business usually shits on (parents with prams and wheelchair-bound, for example) have a positive advantage.
* Shoplifting is LESS IMMORAL than big business: it doesn't exploit workers, kill animals, destroy rain forests or give cancer to children.
* Shoplifting is MORE HONEST than big business: shoplifters don't pretend to be providing a public service, they don't create artificial shortages, nor do they invent myths of fashion or style.
* Shoplifting is illegal, but SO ARE MOST THINGS THAT DAMAGE PROFITS: armed insurrection, industrial sabotage, most strikes and many demonstrations, are illegal, but this doesn't prevent them getting widespread support from lefties.
If you think I'm being flippant, then perhaps I am. To be honest, it seems that its actually easier to justify shoplifting that to justify paying for the things we need. Shoplifting can have a personal impact, too. As well as making life easier, it can help change the way you see shops and the things they sell.
When you've got no money its easy to wander around the shops and get hypnotised by all the goodies, to start thinking "if only I had that .. and that .. and that .. then everything would be aright" You feel this way because you associate certain goods with certain lifestyles: not so much the crude links of the Margarine for men, but more subtle ones drawn from ads aimed directly at your "market segment".
But because you gave up nothing to get the things you shoplift, mealy owning them means nothing. Shoplifting removes the glamour from goods, it devalues them so that their worth is measured only by how useful they are. And, as the things that you've shoplifted become truly price-less, you see more clearly than ever before. That no amount of books, records, drugs, clothes, food and drink could ever compensate for the misery this society creates.
If you're still dubious about the whole thing, ask yourself why? Perhaps you still feel that shoplifting is just wrong? As we grow up we learn rules, mainly from our parents, that shape the way we live. This happens to all of us, mostly without us even noticing. Its that little voice in your head, the nagging feeling that tells you which things are right, and which are wrong.
You probably call this little voice your conscience. But it isn't really your, in fact it isn't a natural part of you at all. Its simply a part of the society that you (and your parents before you) grew up in - the very society you want to change. So when the little voice stops you from fighting back, encourages you to put up with things as they are, don't call it your conscience. Call it the THOUGHT POLICE and give it as much respect as you'd give any copper (This doesn't mean its OK to do whatever you like when you like, with no regard for anyone else. But once you realise why the little voice speaks up when it does, its easier to ignore it when its talking crap)
Enough of that old chat - if you're still reading then you're probably convinced. Here's some basic tips on how to do it. Read them, think about them, talk about them with your friends. THEN GET OUT THERE AND USE THEM!!!
THE 'OUR PRICE' TOP TEN TIPS!
1) Don't dress up like a terrorist every time you go shopping. Be as bland and uninteresting as possible Choose boring clothes with conveniently placed large pockets
2) Know your shops. Work out what security they have, where the blind spots are, and when they're busiest - for most shops this will be Saturdays, and between twelve and two during the week.
3) Watch out for cameras, mirrors, one-way glass. None of these things are much use except as a deterrent, but don't take un-necessary risks.
4) Take a knife to cut plastic security tags off clothing, by cutting either the plastic or the cloth. Pliers are useful, too: tags can sometimes be removed by pinching the two halves tightly, then pulling or sliding the two halves apart. Changing rooms are usually the best place for this. Remember that shops which use security tags are usually lax about the rest of their security.
5) Cultivate useful habits that involve reaching inside your clothing: blow your nose frequently, have an itch in the small of your back. And always try to appear ten times more stupid than you are. But make sure you don't over do it, or you'll look nervous. Always carry things in your hands like gloves, a bag, a newspaper, or anything else that might conceal small objects (jewellery, cassettes, books, many types of food) by simply folding it around them.
6) Work out ways to throw store detectives off the trail: you might buy some cheap items and only steal the more expensive ones - a good way to approach your food shopping, as many of the more expensive goodies are conveniently pocket sized; make a point of speaking to an assistant before you leave the shop - this gives you a chance to look around you a bit and see if you're being watched, and might confuse any suspicious store detectives.
7) Always remove price tags and brand labels as soon as you can - go to a public toilet (watch out for plainclothes police), or examine your goodies at leisure over a cup of coffee. 8) Take advantage of circumstances, like crowds, bomb scares, fire alarms, complaining customers or gossiping shop assistants.
9) Work with some friends. Working together you can shield each other from view, create diversions, and stash the first lot of goodies somewhere else whilst you go back for more - then if you're caught, you've got less stuff on you.
10) If you do get grabbed, it'll almost definitely be by a store detective. If you can, its usually best to drop the goodies and run. Otherwise don't tell them anything, and don't admit to anything at all - they can't prosecute you without proof.